Halloween Distress

"Trick or Treat!"

"Aren't you a little old to be trick-or-treating?" Eugene asked earnestly.  He was a serious young man, so he said almost everything earnestly.  "Despite the dim lighting, you appear to be well over thirty!"

"Hey, I'm only twenty-two!" Hayley protested.  "Okay, I'm really twenty-fi-i-i-ive, nine, I mean, okay, so I hit thirty, but I'm hardly well over… look, my age doesn't matter."  She shook her head.  She had recently had an unpleasant experience at another neighbor's house, one belonging to Colonel Carsick.  Because of that ordeal, she had vowed only to tell the truth, no matter what, but she was finding it hard going.  She waved a plastic shopping bag.  "Just make with the candy, okay?"

"I like your costume," Eugene remarked.

"Oh, this lab coat belonged to an ex-boyfriend," Hayley explained.  "He was a nurse, so he used to wear it for work.  He left it behind when we split up, so when I needed a costume all of a sudden I thought I'd toss it over my old things and come out as a mad scientist!"  She waved the shopping bag once again.

"I'm a real scientist, although not a mad one," said Eugene, continuing to stare at her.  He wondered excitedly what the "old things" were; all he could see her wearing (besides the lab coat) were wooden sandals on her delicate feet.  He glanced admiringly at her toenails painted orange with black flecks representing jack-o-lanterns.  "I'm a professor at East Metro College," he announced, deciding not to bore her with the tedious detail that he was actually an assistant professor still fresh in the probationary period of his academic career.  "Of biochemistry!  Oh, and my name's Eugene."

"Pleased to meet you, I'm Hayley.  How about that candy now?  If you've got some miniature chocolate bars that would be awesome, they're my favorite!"

"But, what do you need it for?" puzzled Eugene.  "Didn't you buy any?"

"Well, yes, but I gave it all away… I mean…."  She sighed, remembering the vow.  "Okay, the truth is, it looked so good sitting there in that big pumpkin bowl that I couldn't resist a taste and one taste turned into another and now none's left!  I don't have any cash and I don't really want to use my card just for candy.  I got the idea of visiting the neighbors to scrounge some up, so I put on this lab coat like I just explained before so could you please loan me some candy because I know you won't tell a damsel in distress no!"  She batted her eyelashes expectantly and leaned forward in case the eyelash trick didn't work.  "You don't want the brats egging my place, do you… um, Eugene, there's a vine or something moving on your floor and it looks like it's crawling out of your house!"

"That's Angelica," Eugene explained.  "A mutant plant.  I did tell you I was a biochemist, so I experiment creating new species and things like that.  Angelica's just curious as to who's at the door."

"Well, she can leave me alone," complained Hayley, shaking a tendril off her foot.  "It's a bit much, really.  What else do you have going on here?  Are you building a horrible Frankenstein monster or something in your basement?"

"Who told you I was building that in my basement?" Eugene demanded.  "Have you been peeking through my windows?  If I catch anyone snooping here, I'll… I'll do something about it, that's what I'll do."

Hayley rolled her eyes.  "Gawd, I was only joking, Eugene."

"Oh, haha, of course you were, I knew that."  Eugene rubbed his hands together.  "Hey, Hayley, you referred to your boyfriend as 'ex' and I just so happen to be between girlfriends at the moment, so I was wondering if you'd consider joining me some evening…"

Hayley's faint cough interrupted him.  "Eugene, could you please get me some candy, or at least say if you're not going to, so I can move along?"

"Oh, you mustn't move along!" Eugene exclaimed.  "I'll gladly give you all the candy and anything else your heart desires.  Please, come in."

"I'd rather stay out here."  Hayley shook off another tendril.  "And could you call off your plant?"

"Angelica, bring Hayley inside!" Eugene ordered.

"EEK!" shrieked Hayley.  Numerous tendrils swarmed over her, dragging her into the house.  Before she could scream again, the biochemist slammed the door shut behind her!

………………..
"Mpfff!"  Halley rolled on the floor.  Vines surrounded her body, wrapped up in tight knots that kept her arms and legs pinned and made escape impossible.  A leaf over her mouth prevented her from speaking.  She could twist her body, but not wriggle free of the vines!

"I am sorry to have to resort to such drastic measures, Hayley."  Eugene dimmed the porch lights.  "We've had enough trick-or-treaters for the night," he explained, trimming the vines surrounding Hayley from Angelica's stem before pouring water into the plant's gargantuan pot.  "Housekeeping done, so, to business.  I charmingly started to invite you for a romantic meal, but you didn't have the courtesy to decline in a proper fashion, instead merely coughing and changing the subject… quite rude, actually, but, oh dear…."

A muffled roar seemed to rise from the floor beneath Hayley, as the entire house shook briefly.  "Mpfff?" she enquired, looking up at her captor.

"Haha, yes, well, you remember that joke about the Frankenstein monster you made earlier?  Quite curiously enough, I am attempting to build a reanimated human, a zombie, I suppose you could call it, from some spare parts I acquired as part of my studies.  I named him Boris after, you know, Karloff, the actor who played the monster in that old black and white movie.  He seems a bit restless at the moment, but I'm sure he'll settle down directly.

"To return to the matter at hand, I've invited you inside so you can reconsider my offer of a date."

"Mpfff!"  Hayley shook her head and looked away.

"I won't let you go until you say yes," Eugene stated firmly.  "I mean, er, nod your head yes, of course!  No one's coming to your rescue, so you may as well give in!"

Hayley sighed inside.  If only someone would save her from this mad scientist!  She certainly could not extricate herself from the vines, but who could possibly come to her assistance?  She wondered if she should simply nod her head yes.  He would let her go then!  No, she couldn't nod, because she wouldn't mean it, so that would be a lie and there was the matter of that vow!  Perhaps she could simply go out with him once, that would make it the truth then, but… really, she simply couldn't; she did have standards and Eugene really fell far short of them!  So, that was out too!  If only she hadn't made that vow!  She never would have if she had realized it would become quite so inconvenient!  But… perhaps there was a solution.  She was certain there was some sort of rule that said it was okay to break a vow in an emergency, and this certainly qualified as one!  She would nod her head yes, and then bolt when he set her free.  Problem solved!

"I don't know."  Eugene folded his arms in response to her eager nod.  "I think you just did that so I'd let you go.  How do I know you really mean it?  Do you really mean it?"

"Mpfff!"  She couldn't have shaken her head any more vigorously!

"Okay, I'll untie you," Eugene agreed.

Thank Gawd!  Hayley felt pleased that she was going to get out of this so quickly.  She remembered how Colonel Carsick had kept her tied up for what felt like an eternity, lecturing her on the quality of honesty before finally setting her free.  She was going to get out of this much faster… at least if Eugene stopped standing around and untied her!  What was he waiting for?

"Right, to get started… oh, double dear!  It's Boris again.  I'd really better see about him."

"Mpfff!" Hayley exclaimed inn frustration.  Couldn't the monster wait until after she was untied?  Before Eugene could go to see about Boris, though, Boris came to see about Eugene, smashing through a connecting door.  "Grrr!" the monster roared.

"Mpfff!" Hayley screamed in fright.  Boris looked exactly like a Frankenstein monster from an old science fiction movie, she noted, complete with green skin and vacant eyes.

"Grrr!" he repeated, looking accusingly at Eugene, who blinked back in alarm.

"Boris, calm down," the biochemist said nervously.  "I don't know how you broke your restraints, but let's get you back to your dungeon, I mean, nice damp bedroom in the cellar and I'll see about getting you some stronger ones."

"Boris no like cellar," came the answer.  "Boris prisoner there!  Not right!  Boris leaving!"

"Boris, you're not a prisoner," Eugene cajoled.  "And don't try leaving, because you're not allowed to!"

"Why pretty lady tied up?" demanded Boris, looking at Hayley and then at Eugene.

"Now, that's not really your concern, is it, Boris?" said Eugene.

The monster paused, considering.  "Pretty lady also prisoner," he observed.  "Pretty lady leaving too!"

"NO!" shouted Eugene.

"Mpfff," countered Hayley.  He's not exactly a knight in shining armor, but I'll take a hero where I can find one!  She smiled encouragingly up at him as he lifted her from the ground and cradled her in his arms.

"Boris, put her back down!" ordered Eugene.  "Angelica, don't let them leave!"

Tendrils wrapped around legs as thick as tree trunks, only to snap as Boris strode forward.  Hayley shot Eugene a look of triumph as she was carried outside.  Now she didn't have to worry about not keeping her stupid vow!

"Hey, nice Halloween costumes, guys," came a call from a group of trick-or-treaters.

"Look, Frankie's got his bride," suggested another member.

"Grrr," answered Boris, lumbering along.

"Mpfff," Hayley eventually said, hinting he could stop now and put her down.  Eugene did not seem to be following them, so she felt she was safe from the mad scientist now.

Boris, however, continued his slow but steady pace into the night.  Hayley looked around sadly, held tightly in his arms.  He saved me from that maniac, she reflected sadly, but now who's going to save me from him?